HNI Info

I/ INTRODUCTION:

Many parents take advantage of their baby's upcoming arrival to reflect on how they will welcome him.
It seemed important to address the issue of natural baby hygiene or Elimination Communication (HNI), to give you a start of reflection on this topic.

I am Christina, mother of four children in HNI, and Artisan of Creative Art of the brand Ecopitchoun,facilitator of workshops and conference since 2006 on different themes of parenting: signs with baby, portage, Faber and Mazlish communication parents-children-teens, on the placenta, raw food, ecology, l Elimination Communication and accompaniment to continence. Also founder of the Papoti-Papota association, which has been offering parent-child workshops on Béziers since 2009.

I had the pleasure of rewriting the texts that I had put on the site because the mentalities have changed so much since 2004 when I started talking about them around me! Now I see, with this little hindrance, that more and more of you are questioning yourself, exchanging, informing you, and that ideas are moving forward super fast. It's been a good time for questioning our relationship with the younger ones, and this movement doesn't look like it's getting out of hand So I update, giving more information adapted to new parents.


BIBLIOGRAPHY:

You can explore the subject of Elimination Communication reading these books:

"Tips and tricks to raise your child without diapers (or almost)", by Carine PHUNG available here on the website Ecopitchoun download and inexpensive.
This book is very complete, brings step by step, patterns of sewing.

Without diapers, it's freedom," daIngrid Bauer, at the Instant Editions Present.
It was the first book translated into French on the subject. He has inspired many parents and helps you connect to your deep instincts.

And you can complete one of these books with the HNI Guide Book Ecopitchoun by Christina Burjade-Crozel.
Once you've read one of the two books above, you don't necessarily have time to go back in when baby is there and you're in the action fire. With this guide you have quick access to a reminder that doesn't go in all the details, which reminds you of the broad lines and moves you, it's very convenient. Inside a lot of tricks that are not in the books, and that allows you to apply them on a daily basis: practical tools, encouraging phrases, the main pitfalls and how to deal with them in practice.
On the other hand, it's a notebook. Keeping a written record of what you've been through with your baby, writing down the steps you've gone through, also allows for a very nice transmission and memory. So you can paste photos, annotate remarks, see all the way.

The natural hygiene of the child" by Sandrine Montrocher-Zaffarano, at Jouvence Editions.
It is a very concise book of the Jouvence Editions, and this format is valuable: it allows you to have a first approach on the subject, to present the HNI to the communities, to the family... so it is quick to read and sweep the main questions that the Quidam raises.

II/ What is natural infant hygiene (NHI)?

We will first define a common vocabulary to facilitate communication. The ages indicated are used only to facilitate common understanding and are not an indicator of baby delay or advance.

A baby needs to accompany to the continence of birth until it is ready. There are several moments and ways to do things:
- from 0 to 18 months: we will then talk about Elimination Communication.
- from 18 months onwards: we will talk about accompaniment towards continence. I prefer this term to "learning cleanliness" which refers to a different intention and purpose than what I am going to talk about.

The months indicated in these informative texts are only indicative, to facilitate understanding, and your baby does not have to fit into these age cells. So there will be neither delay nor advance, just that everyone is different and will therefore experience different ways of doing things, different acquisitions, and that everything is very well so.

In Elimination Communication, it's about meeting your baby's elimination needs.
You can use 6 main axes that are complementary:
- being attentive to his needs: knowing what physiological development is in the time of a baby in HNI (different to a baby with diapers) and where his baby is located,
- by responding to its signals: if a newborn indicates by mimics and sounds when he's going to pee or cocoa, a baby can show him objects, use gestures, stop his game, and when he's still a little tall he will use signs of the LSF (if you use them), words, behaviors. Communication will of course evolve over its development.
- by relying on a "time": there are favorable times depending on baby age.
- by relying on your instinct: after a moment of practice, a form of connection is installed. We think this is the time without really knowing why. A bit like breastfeeding when you have a milk climb while you are away from baby, moving away from home sometimes.
- and using tools of parenting competence: the Dunstan Baby Language, the signs with babies,
- And above all by respecting its own limits so that communication can be put in place serenely.

These six broad lines allow you to offer him a place to eliminate, and point out to him that it is time to relax with a sound, a word. Create another communication link that will strengthen the parent-child relationship, a better understanding. Respect the child's growth, keep pace by offering it at the right time. Baby then approaches the path to continence when he acquires it spontaneously.

L’ Elimination Communication (HNI) is not:
THE' Elimination Communication is not a method, a way to learn continence to a baby. I-I Elimination Communication (HNI) does not consist of letting your baby eliminate anywhere and clean after it, or letting it get on all the time and change it. Nor is it a coercive method that would force the child to hold back: parents adapt to the baby's evolution, so take into account that his body does not have the maturity to hold back.

At the heart of the HNI is mutual cooperation, the desire to grow up together, learn from the baby and evolve with him.

The goal of accompanying to continence is that baby remains conscious of his body and feelings and that he acquires continence at his rhythm, the intention is communication. We emerge from the dominant/dominated relationship in which families often find themselves "learning cleanliness".

But then, what does the learning of cleanliness differ from accompaniment to continence?


III/ What is "learning cleanliness"?

Many adults over the course of the workshops explained how they had lived this period themselves, and the expression contains a lot of tensions, misunderstandings, a balance of power, etc. New terms had to be found to consider a new way of doing things, to open up the possibilities and to return to the rhythm of the child, not the rhythm of society or adults.

This expression refers to methods that require babies to learn continence because the adult has decided so. It's so much better if it interests baby, but not necessary to start. We just validate his physical ability: age is an indicator, and succeed in climbing the stairs, running. The goal is that it be ready for kindergarten so day continent at first, or because the summer season is ready. Indeed, the parent is more available, the laundry dries faster, baby will not have cold. The goal of "learning cleanliness" is continuity and intent is obedience.
Then we sometimes explain the baby process. If he has a sibling or a mode of collective custody, he will have to understand for himself what is expected and we will rely on imitation to get what is expected.
We buy the potty on which he will remain seated at the regular times indicated by the pediatrician. He'll be sitting until he's done something in the potty, but not too long anyway. This is the system of punishment/reward that is supposed to encourage expected behavior. The parent often gets angry if the child does not manage to be a continent relatively quickly. The parent did not provide information on the operation and development of the baby to enable him to better understand and interact. Sometimes remarks of discouragement and anger of the parent run away, which devalues baby, humiliating.

This is the expression "learning cleanliness" in the collective imagination of parents. I was able to see from talking with friends, and during workshops with parents that many of them had to follow this method as a baby, and lived as a very unpleasant ordeal that had to be overcome for everyone to enjoy us. Stay on the potty 15-20 minutes without knowing what to do, not understanding why we no longer have the right to diapers suddenly, feeling rejected and incompetent.
We are far from the coercive methods after the 1950s, but the children who became parents find themselves with this only model, and very few informative resources that would have evolved.
It is now a matter of rethinking our approach, proposing to acquire continence by sticking at best to the baby's rhythm, to show empathy, with gentleness, serenity.
 

IV/ WHAT IS THE CONTINENCE?

There are many definitions of continence according to parents, the habits of the society in which they operate.
I have several typical answers:
When the child is able to keep his panties clean in kindergarten? When baby makes on the potty when we put him on at fixed times, and he doesn't do it outside? Is this when the child will wear panties without peeing in? When he is able to identify his need, to restrain himself, to go from himself to the toilet? When baby asks to go to potty when he needs it? When baby doesn't get on at night and day? When he goes to the big guys' bathroom?
There are many definitions that vary according to each one, according to our expectations, according to what we imagine, etc.

Hence the usefulness of decorating a little what is behind this word, better understand what everyone says.

Although not exhaustive, here are several points underlying the word "continence":
- Cleanliness: do on yourself or in a dedicated place.
- Physical ability: being able to hold back, and how long.
- Follow a rhythm independent of his: school for example.
- Stay dry day and night.
- Baby issues a request to which the accompanying person responds.
- Autonomy: go alone on the potty or need to be accompanied, know how to manage clothes.
- Acquisition: this is a completely acquired step.

So I left on that definition: Continence?
When a person does his/her needs in the toilet, day or night, without needing help, and has enough control of his/her body to manage to be reasonably restrained and to adapt to the rhythm imposed by the situation, for a long time enough to mean that it is acquired (about 6 months).


V/ But then what would accompaniment towards continence be?

From 18 months on, because that's when most parents start to remove the diaper. And then what would we say? Up to 3 years? 3 to 5 years about 50% of children are incontinents.. So up to five years? After that we talk about denuresis but it is not considered a disease. So until the child is continent* and not a date.

*As a reminder, continence is when a person needs the toilet, day and night, without needing any help, and has enough control of his body to manage to be reasonably restrained and to adapt to the pace imposed by the situation, for a long time enough to mean that it is acquired (about 6 months).
 
Currently society is still in a phase where to pee past a certain age is a problem, probably because the subject is taboo and the story we get tells us that good parents (before we talked about "good mothers", hearing competent and socially acceptable mother) must have a child continent. Only here, when I ask about this age, there it is impossible to define, each one has a different head age than his neighbour, and if I ask them to define an age together when they are in group then it is the average that wins. When the word is freed, everyone has examples of young people who peed later or later, and all testify that the child really did not do it voluntarily, that the parents tried everything, etc. And at the end of this discussion, if it is the average that prevails, it is understood for all that there are many cases of incontinental children (and not just one) and that it is neither dirty nor the fault of the parents, and that no one can effectively determine where this could come from except in cases of proven illness. In other words, the discussion frees up prejudices, pushes forward the reflection, and in the end we gain in openness, we get out of taboo to seek solutions. In fact, it is still a pity that young people suffer socially because of a taboo that could easily be undone by discussing more. The Youtube woman Natoo addressed this subject, and I thank her very much for dedramatizing and speaking frankly.

The accompaniment to continence begins at 18 months and until the child is continent, regardless of age.
The aim is to take into account the child's rhythm and physiology, to inform about the child's development, to prepare environment, clothes and material. Then explain to his child, exchange on the subject, and facilitate his access to autonomy. The aim is for the child to become fully aware of his or her body and feelings and to gain continuity at his or her own pace. The intention is to communicate, acting as facilitator.